Yes, that’s right. I’ve started another blog. And I’m a mummy.
You’ve seen a few posts from me now and you’re probably trying to work ‘what I’m about’. So surely now is a good time to explain why I’ve started this blog.
Time for some brutal honesty…
One of the things I’ve discovered about myself since becoming a mum is that I’m not fulfilled with just being a mother. There, I’ve said it. I need more than motherhood to make my life feel full.
Mothers reading this are now gasping in shock and shaking their heads in disgust. God, I hope not. I hope there are at least a few thinking, ‘I know what she means.’ Probably another few thinking ‘I’d never be stupid enough to admit that online though.’ A fair point.
Please don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mum and there is nothing better in this world than a cuddle and a giggle from the person you love most. I wouldn’t change my experience for anything and my son is 100% the best achievement of my life. The following photos will hopefully prove I’m not a total monster and I really do love my son…
But I’m not ashamed to admit that I need to be more than a mummy and more than a wife to make me feel complete and happy.
I loved my first maternity leave and was lucky enough to have the full year at home with Max. But I was itching to get back to work by the end. I’d spent so much time at Baby Sensory classes, walking in the park with the pram, touring the local soft plays and mastering baby massage – I felt my brain had practically turned to mush.
And although I wouldn’t change any of it, I needed more – quiet time to read on the commute, lengthy tea breaks to catch up with colleagues on office gossip and emails from people that didn’t start with ‘in this week’s baby sign session…’.
I needed to feel like ME again.
Women can be judged so harshly for not finding motherhood ‘enough’. Let’s get this straight – it doesn’t mean you love your child any less and it certainly doesn’t make you any less of a mother.
From what I’ve seen, most bloggers do this for a creative outlet, simply because they love writing. I couldn’t agree more. And of course to make money – although I’m not in it for the money (not yet, anyway…).
It’s an opportunity to be imaginative and expressive. Writing energises me. Even at my lowest point, amid sheer exhaustion when Max had chickenpox and didn’t sleep properly for a week, I was cataloguing ideas for future blog posts at 3am. Who needs caffeine when you have a blog?!
More than anything, this blog gives me the chance to spend some time doing something I LOVE.
Motherhood can be all-consuming (if you let it) and this blog is a way for me to make sure I don’t lose my sense of ‘self’ as I approach my second maternity leave. Or my sanity.
My blog is quite simply my voice, my opinion and my life.
Not everyone will like what I have to say but that’s not going to stop me from giving it a bloody good go.